A LITTLE WHIMSY

A whimsical person is unusual, playful, and unpredictable, rather than serious and practical. What is life without a little whimsy?

Fake news?

I’ll start with some fake news seen last night on Auntie Beeb and sent to President Tweety for verification. I understand that Rudy Ghouliani is on the job. What a relief!

Interesting pictures made from belly button fluff … and more!

Because of FaceAche and other social media, metal detecting forums have taken a bit of a bashing. Some (not all) use different ways to attract new and current members.

In an effort to remedy the situation, the Administrator on a forum you might know, made the decision to change some of the games members could play in the ‘arcade’ section. People were invited to suggest exciting activities. Here are some of the more sensible of those suggestions.

  1. a fishing or noodling page
  2. a page where transvestites can hang out
  3. another one for people with an OCD with an OCD with an OCD with an OCD
  4. hints and tips for whittlers and gardeners
  5. workshop for all those interested in duct tape art
  6. a place where all those taphophile enthusiasts can meet up
  7. workshop for toilet roll knitted cover collectors
  8. Pooh sticks … or Scrabble competitions for the not so energetic
  9. killing and eating your own food-but you can share with others
  10. Yoga with special emphasis on the Kama Sutra
  11. making interesting pictures with belly button fluff – involve others
  12. taking pictures of yourself playing dead and perhaps starting a lurkers section
  13. making a collage from finger and toenail clippings
  14. snoring in tune with Abba’s greatest hits
  15. a section where old farts can hang out

Sad to say that some suggestions were considered frivolous and impractical. The one chosen isn’t even on the list. The venerable Texan Dick Stout was the inspiration : in one of his popular Brain Farts he said,” I finally figured out the real reason for the . . . spade.  It’s for taking photos of your detector leaning on it.

And that’s all you had to do – take a memorable picture of your spade resting on the detector. This has proved to be a resounding success on many sites. Thank you Dick.

In lieu of no toilet paper due to those people mistakenly thinking COVID 19 caused galloping diarrhoea

Well, the implied message according to Tesco, going to the loo is proving to be a habit a we can easily curtail. Certainly at that price … but ‘every little helps’ I suppose.

This crap notice was seen in a local store just before lockdown. Judging by the bum rush frenzy just a week later, this ‘everyday value’ loo tissue must have flown off the shelves.

Green waste? – Bloggocks

Wikipedia has a very short entry describing what green waste is. It says: ‘Green waste is biodegradable waste that can be composed of garden or park waste, such as grass or flower cuttings and hedge trimmings, as well as domestic and commercial food waste. Metal detectorists would beg to differ.

A request from the Finds Liaison Officer in 2017, asking about detectorists’ experiences with the dreaded so-called ‘green waste’ has prompted me to say a little about my own experiences.

I found discarded circuit boards were found accompanied by IKEA bits and pieces, bottle tops, glass, wood and all kinds of plastic. © JW

As way of an experiment, a group of about a dozen of us detected on a field that have previously given up gold staters, and had been very productive. The farmer had allowed ‘green waste’ to cover his land, but hadn’t realised just want that meant. We were shocked to find what we did! With the finding of numerous discarded circuit boards, the term ‘green’ took on a totally different meaning. We searched for one hour and you can see what we collected.

Derek’s ‘knowledgeable’ friend painted the wrong picture

Is this the only SENSIBLE POST YOU WILL SEE?

Between the first and second lick of paint on the kitchen door and taking a well-earned coffee break Derek, our painter and decorator friend reminisced about finding an unusual coin whilst walking along the canal bank.

He described it and said that a ‘knowledgeable’ mate had said that his find was some kind of token associated with the canal. I asked Derek if he could bring it the next day and share with me. He readily agreed.

I thought that it was going to be comparatively easy to identify the coin or token (or whatever it was), but I was mistaken, so had to embark on what I loosely call ‘research’ and enlist the help of that nice Mr. Google.

Coin found on the canal bank. © JW

After a long time looking I concluded that it was some kind of Byzantine Follis, but a positive ID was impossible for me, as there seemed to be lots of varieties. If you look closely you will see a nimbus (halo) surrounding the head of whoever it is. This was associated with the Sun God Sol (Greek, Helios) and was never a common iconographic coin feature but is probably a good clue. Still not sure that my ID was correct. Perhaps you can enlighten me?

‘Man with experience’

I received an email the other day: “Hi John. With the experience you have, I wonder whether detectorists have been able to detect amalgam fillings in human teeth. Any references would be welcome. I am perhaps using the wrong keywords in Google, but up to now have been unsuccessful in finding information.”

A rather enigmatic request and, I suspect from a non-detectorist, which I couldn’t ignore. I placed a pinpoint probe in my mouth and it went berserk. But, when I tried it on the outside, next to my cheek, there wasn’t a sound. Then discovered it had been inadvertently switched off! Mrs. John suggested that she could bury me and try swinging her detector near my face. I declined. I think she was joking!

I probed further and found out that the context of the question was forensic and concerned the possibility of finding burials in shallow clandestine graves by detecting amalgam teeth fillings. Amalgam, formerly used by dentists, was a mixture composed of copper, silver and tin, bound together with around 50% mercury.

The questioner remarked “All this is out of my field of expertise, but I have now contacted Minelab. From what I can see they are the largest manufacturer of specialised detectors.” I’m not flattered anymore!

Go on then. I know you are dying to give it a try. I won’t divulge the final outcome and the answer I gave him. Just a little experiment to keep you busy during lockdown.

Loada Phoney Baloney

The enigmatic detectorist John Maloney has anther hobby – taking pictures of beer in the hostels he visits, then posting them on Faceache for the delight and delectation of his many followers. A while back he posted this glass of ale entitled,”It’s a pint called Bitter Winter 🤣🤣🤣 … I saw it and it made me chuckle – I know not why.” 🤣🤣

Looks like a sub-standard pint of Cloudy Winter Brew. I certainly wouldn’t sup it. Hope he took it back to the bar and thus avoided the inevitable.

FINIS – much to your relief

This is almost the end to my bout of silliness. Congratulations if you have reached this far. Blogging shouldn’t be too serious anyway.

Thought I’d show you my vintage black and white telly that’s on the blink. Should I upgrade or pay the ridiculous TV licence fee just to watch this rubbish? Shhh, I‘m seriously thinking about not paying. They say oldies will be incarcerated if they don’t pay the £157. Great. Free B & B, no Poll Tax etcetera . . . and FREE television.

When Auntie Beeb realises that this won’t work – prisons will be unable to cope trying to accommodate all the venerable and decrepit over 75’s who’ve said they won’t pay. Sorry – I meant vulnerable. More dissent to follow . . . then they’ll send in the bailiffs. I think the change in legislation might cost more than allowing the old folks this little concession. What’s next? The bus pass and heating allowance? See what age uk say about this. Rant over.


This blog was helped by copious amounts of vino over several days. You may have found some of the content rather unpalatable – and if you did, I apologise. You must agree that the picture on that old TV is irritating?



8 thoughts on “A LITTLE WHIMSY”

  1. I still have an issue with that television Tax, John .. I had not even heard of such a thing until a Brit friend of mine mentioned .. What on earth does the government think it is doing there?

    Here is a hypothetical question.. or maybe not so much.. What happens if you have a telly but use it only for watching videos.. no TV reception at all… does that gouging still apply.. I feel that when a person moves to Britain, the question should be posited to whatever agency controls that tax.. “Excuse me.. should I walk in or back in, bent over?’ LOL.. Sorry could not resist.. My little bit of whimsy my friend.

    Another delightful article.. I always enjoy your musings

    Best

    Micheal

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is a lot of musing to take in all at once …. but as usual interesting and I was smiling by the time I reached the final full stop … keep scribbling.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. An impressive display, Dick. You are certainly a contender for number 3 on my list.
    Can you organise some kind of associated game?

    Like

  4. I also have an issue with the television tax.
    What happens if I watch all channels bar Auntie Beeb?
    Next they’ll be taxing the number of bottles of Pino I drink per week.
    Or the number of Canucks I count as a friend.

    Like

  5. I got sucked into that rabbit hole of the internet following your links John, but after a 30 minute wander I found my way back.

    I have to admit that I am one of those that likes to visit cemeteries and read the interesting notes people have left on them. My long since departed grandfather used to say “It wasn’t the cough that carried him off, it was the coffin they carried him off in”. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to steal that for my final marker………along with a pocket full of ring pulls, just incase the headstone goes missing one day. LOL….

    Also bonus points go to the “breaking news” photo, I liked that.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First – apologies for treating you as a sucker. 🙂
    That phrase is also used over here but the origins are disputed. Victoria, Spike Milligan, George Formby et al. My Mother used it whenever I coughed. I had a book – forget what it was called. Also in the book was: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. What’s that all about?

    Like

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