I’ll start with some fake news seen last night on Auntie Beeb and sent to President Tweety for verification. I understand that Rudy Ghouliani is on the job. What a relief!
Interesting pictures made from belly button fluff … and more!
Because of FaceAche and other social media, metal detecting forums have taken a bit of a bashing. Some (not all) use different ways to attract new and current members.
In an effort to remedy the situation, the Administrator on a forum you might know, made the decision to change some of the games members could play in the ‘arcade’ section. People were invited to suggest exciting activities. Here are some of the more sensible of those suggestions.
- a fishing or noodling page
- a page where transvestites can hang out
- another one for people with an OCD with an OCD with an OCD with an OCD
- hints and tips for whittlers and gardeners
- workshop for all those interested in duct tape art
- a place where all those taphophile enthusiasts can meet up
- workshop for toilet roll knitted cover collectors
- Pooh sticks … or Scrabble competitions for the not so energetic
- killing and eating your own food-but you can share with others
- Yoga with special emphasis on the Kama Sutra
- making interesting pictures with belly button fluff – involve others
- taking pictures of yourself playing dead and perhaps starting a lurkers section
- making a collage from finger and toenail clippings
- snoring in tune with Abba’s greatest hits
- a section where old farts can hang out
Sad to say that some suggestions were considered frivolous and impractical. The one chosen isn’t even on the list. The venerable Texan Dick Stout was the inspiration : in one of his popular Brain Farts he said,” I finally figured out the real reason for the . . . spade. It’s for taking photos of your detector leaning on it.“
And that’s all you had to do – take a memorable picture of your spade resting on the detector. This has proved to be a resounding success on many sites. Thank you Dick.
In lieu of no toilet paper due to those people mistakenly thinking COVID 19 caused galloping diarrhoea
Well, the implied message according to Tesco, going to the loo is proving to be a habit a we can easily curtail. Certainly at that price … but ‘every little helps’ I suppose.
This crap notice was seen in a local store just before lockdown. Judging by the bum rush frenzy just a week later, this ‘everyday value’ loo tissue must have flown off the shelves.
Green waste? – Bloggocks
Wikipedia has a very short entry describing what green waste is. It says: ‘Green waste is biodegradable waste that can be composed of garden or park waste, such as grass or flower cuttings and hedge trimmings, as well as domestic and commercial food waste. Metal detectorists would beg to differ.
A request from the Finds Liaison Officer in 2017, asking about detectorists’ experiences with the dreaded so-called ‘green waste’ has prompted me to say a little about my own experiences.
As way of an experiment, a group of about a dozen of us detected on a field that have previously given up gold staters, and had been very productive. The farmer had allowed ‘green waste’ to cover his land, but hadn’t realised just want that meant. We were shocked to find what we did! With the finding of numerous discarded circuit boards, the term ‘green’ took on a totally different meaning. We searched for one hour and you can see what we collected.
Derek’s ‘knowledgeable’ friend painted the wrong picture
Is this the only SENSIBLE POST YOU WILL SEE?
Between the first and second lick of paint on the kitchen door and taking a well-earned coffee break Derek, our painter and decorator friend reminisced about finding an unusual coin whilst walking along the canal bank.
He described it and said that a ‘knowledgeable’ mate had said that his find was some kind of token associated with the canal. I asked Derek if he could bring it the next day and share with me. He readily agreed.
I thought that it was going to be comparatively easy to identify the coin or token (or whatever it was), but I was mistaken, so had to embark on what I loosely call ‘research’ and enlist the help of that nice Mr. Google.
After a long time looking I concluded that it was some kind of Byzantine Follis, but a positive ID was impossible for me, as there seemed to be lots of varieties. If you look closely you will see a nimbus (halo) surrounding the head of whoever it is. This was associated with the Sun God Sol (Greek, Helios) and was never a common iconographic coin feature but is probably a good clue. Still not sure that my ID was correct. Perhaps you can enlighten me?
‘Man with experience’
I received an email the other day: “Hi John. With the experience you have, I wonder whether detectorists have been able to detect amalgam fillings in human teeth. Any references would be welcome. I am perhaps using the wrong keywords in Google, but up to now have been unsuccessful in finding information.”
A rather enigmatic request and, I suspect from a non-detectorist, which I couldn’t ignore. I placed a pinpoint probe in my mouth and it went berserk. But, when I tried it on the outside, next to my cheek, there wasn’t a sound. Then discovered it had been inadvertently switched off! Mrs. John suggested that she could bury me and try swinging her detector near my face. I declined. I think she was joking!
I probed further and found out that the context of the question was forensic and concerned the possibility of finding burials in shallow clandestine graves by detecting amalgam teeth fillings. Amalgam, formerly used by dentists, was a mixture composed of copper, silver and tin, bound together with around 50% mercury.
The questioner remarked “All this is out of my field of expertise, but I have now contacted Minelab. From what I can see they are the largest manufacturer of specialised detectors.” I’m not flattered anymore!
Go on then. I know you are dying to give it a try. I won’t divulge the final outcome and the answer I gave him. Just a little experiment to keep you busy during lockdown.
Loada Phoney Baloney
FINIS – much to your relief
This is almost the end to my bout of silliness. Congratulations if you have reached this far. Blogging shouldn’t be too serious anyway.
Thought I’d show you my vintage black and white telly that’s on the blink. Should I upgrade or pay the ridiculous TV licence fee just to watch this rubbish? Shhh, I‘m seriously thinking about not paying. They say oldies will be incarcerated if they don’t pay the £157. Great. Free B & B, no Poll Tax etcetera . . . and FREE television.
When Auntie Beeb realises that this won’t work – prisons will be unable to cope trying to accommodate all the venerable and decrepit over 75’s who’ve said they won’t pay. Sorry – I meant vulnerable. More dissent to follow . . . then they’ll send in the bailiffs. I think the change in legislation might cost more than allowing the old folks this little concession. What’s next? The bus pass and heating allowance? See what age uk say about this. Rant over.
This blog was helped by copious amounts of vino over several days. You may have found some of the content rather unpalatable – and if you did, I apologise. You must agree that the picture on that old TV is irritating?